How college changed me?
The answer is, a lot. except that I am still messy.
First, I learn going out on my own. You know? the whole me before 2016 would be shocked. who would have thought the girl who couldn't even walk pass by a stranger alone could finally go out, take a bus, eat, hang out- all Alone? this whole cycle teaches me lots of things. one of them is- nobody cares about you, so carry yourself, Yourself.
Secondly, (god forbid any of you bringing this up in front of me) my college teaches me how to be grateful. as a fully functioning annoying and fussy human being, I know I badmouth a lot about the condition and facilities in this college, but at the end of the day, God always leads me back to see how things are worse outside, heck some would even do anything to be in my shoes. My mom always stresses me about this, I hardly ever hear her complains. So when I do, she would shut me real quick with words like, 'be patient for Allah wouldn't burden a soul beyond what it can bear'. simple but when uttered by your Mother, it soothes every single burning cell in your body, so you are back to "Ok I am chill now" mark as life goes on while you count your blessings. Well, not until you encounter another problem and there comes again the cycle.
Next, most of my friends before would agree that I was an extrovert, heck even I thought so. but being here, surrounded by housemates who prefer their lone time more than our group time, I found myself following their suit. and I like. it. not attaching yourself to someone really make you stress-free. I get to know myself better too, especially on what /I/ want. All thanks to them. I love them so much. I am never restricted to hold onto my own opinion even if it is different from theirs. We fight and we correct each other, without any sarcastic remark and any personal feelings involved or without any unnecessary rolling eyes needed. Gossip? this is the best part of my housemates. We speak little about other people... like honestly. Is this how an adult life like? bc... I kinda like it but I hate the fact that I am /gasp/ 21 now..... what. the. apple.
My housemates are really like my family. Maybe because when I am with them, I am 95% myself so I am always super happy. Ok enough about housemates I am gonna end up writing a whole post about them. With that I wanna correct myself: My housemates are annoying I Hate Them. Thank you.
All these changes weren't the one I had in my mind when I prayed to Him to give me friends and surrounding that would strengthen me, way before I came here.
You know what I had in mind? strength from people who would /support/ whatever I do or think. but you see what He gave me? Circle of friends of the complete opposite. and with that, I gain strength of gripping myself better than I ever did before. His plans are indeed the best! in a way I got what I had prayed for too! Alhamdulillah.
also the most prominent change in myself is my melatah has switched from "oh mak hang" to "oh mak Kau" ah, am i Proud.
