Austria: The Planning

I remember writing "menziarahi kakak" on the borang cuti before handing it to my Boss and felt a tiny bit guilty, even though it's not far from the actual reason ...which is to stroll and travel around While my sister is still there. because at least for me, she wasn't the priority sdjhskdhkjd I mean, thanks for concurrently being there? :P jk

until my boss read it and the guilt ...doubled. 

after asking a few basic questions, he really went "ini bukan menziarahi kakak, yinniii melancongg" and then laughed to himself. oh my God no, it's not funny? not when I was breaking a sweat standing there like a weary poll sjbhdsmhd PLS I can't believe I got busted after a FEW BASIC questions. no more concealing my actual intention on that borang after this. period. 

and pls don't ask me why I didn't just write 'melancong' on the form. I wasn't gonna try and risk it from getting rejected T________T sesungguhnya saya hanyalah insan yang lemah. haha

walking out from the office, gurl really thought she had passed through the biggest hurdle of this plan.

until kak anih came into the picture like:

uhhhh, she and her lassst minuteee waaaaayyyyssss.

now it's exactly two weeks before our travel date and ...we still haven't booked our accommodation. hdjkksadj this is worrying. but has also tremendously improved my Tawakkal. if I had written this two weeks ago when I first dealt with Kak Anih, I would have smashed the keyboard to spit a lot of bad words, heck, it'd just be me ranting for three long paragraphs but now im just... whatever~

dia macam ye lah lantak ko lah. hahaha *laughs nervously*

but for the most parts, I really enjoyed planning the itinerary. It was a lot to take in tbh, especially when I knew nothing abt the country, not even from a single media before this. the transportations, the culture, the places, none.

I discovered Hallstatt myself through this, before kak anih even mentioned it to me to add it into the list. that's how clueless (also how disinterested) I was about the country. it wasn't in my wildest dream to have visited a country that has so many hidden gems that only now I knew (hidden from me at least LOL)

and todaaaay, after letting this entry rot in the draft for weeks..... it's D-Day!

(legit posting this in the airport)

Diari Ramadhan Hasanah Part II

"Hasanah!"

I tossed and turned. uhmm, this bed's so cosy.

"Hasanah!!!!"

tossed and turned again... now with a slow grunt because ...okay. I know I promised you Mak, but it's still so early... it's only.. *double tapped the phone to see the time* te... TEN!?!?!?

never had I jolted out of bed to dash into the kitchen that quickly and I really stood in front of her to process what she had baked without my presence, alone, at her old age. eyes still squinting.

"Mak gerak kamu dari tadi!! tak bangun bangun"

and I died a little inside. dang you Hasanah, how could you.

but I felt way worse when I saw her almost finishing the kuih she made. ...Mak... maybe I should have just died then. How could I? (◞‸◟) I immediately said an innumerable amount of sorry, wash myself at a lightning speed, took a seat and asked, "okay Mak, now what's next?"

She jeling me. but it's okay, I deserved it.

seriously, how did she do it? she woke up for Qiyam, went for Subuh berjemaah, so what? she probably started all of that at 8-9am right? so how did she do it? I woke up for Qiyam and I struggled to even open my eyes for Subuh (◞‸◟)

 
however, the other kuih ship had to sail, and it won't sail if she continues to merajuk. Therefore, to make her my bestfriend again, I reminded and praised her how she's such a superwoman, unlike me who's weak, lazy and ungrateful. there's nothing I could do at this point other than acknowledging my fault which isㅡ breaking my promise with her, leaving her alone to make the kuih. I knew I am Mak's carbon copy and it's in our blood that our type can't be angry for long. Hence, the ship sailed. quickly. tq Mak for being my Mak. I love you. 

I even created one core memory while doing this with her. it was mak and I dancing and singing to a song while moulding the kuih. just two domestic women enjoying the time in the kitchen. what a time to be alive! 

all of this and you'd think im the worst daughter ...until we are onto our third kuih and there came farhan hanis looking dejected just like I was two hours before and I shook my head with a jeling to her like I didn't commit the same crime. lol

a carbon copy is a carbon copy indeed.

we proceeded to sing together as we made our fourth kuih, now with the added member farhan hanis ♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪

the mess in our kitchen.

Diari Ramadhan Hasanah part I

but will there ever be a part II? lol looking at my regular pattern of not continuing any of my series that I started randomly, then ...I don't think so.

anyway, a day before Ramadhan, (and this is a TMI) I wrote in my diary that I did not have any excitement over what's coming. there's so much going on in my life and in this world to even think about it. I don't know how much of a difference it is compared to last year's, it just felt like it was another month for me. but oh, was I a fool.

Ramadhan doesn't need ME for it to be special. It will continue to offer so much regardless of my excitement. therefore whether i 'feel' it or not, I don't think I'd ever want to miss them, the rewards I mean. Rather than forcing myself, I just think that it would be a waste to throw away an opportunity to bask myself in the Berkah this month has to offer, even by doing the simplest good deed. 

so yeah, sorry Miss Farhan, you are not special. and yeah, investing for your Akhirat when your deeds aren't that much is something you MUST do, not SHOULD do. quickly after, I istighfar and tajdid my niat.  I NEED Ramadhan. Ramadhan doesn't need me（╹◡╹）(that's on why I love reflective writing!)

and Alhamdulillah it has been a blast since.

Life is just as hectic, the world continues to prove itself to be nothing but a menace, with Gaza still getting bombed left and right, 

but hey, look up.

It's Ramadhan. we may be powerless but with Du'a, with our own Jihad against our own Nafs, or just simply doing our best at work, insyaAllah, those too shall count as our efforts. Himnae-ra ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

the diari Ramadhan Hasanah would be, hm, does religiously filling my "days in pixel" with colours everyday count ʕʘ‿ʘʔ idk idk I am sure I can do better. Days before the last 10 days should be a marathon and the latter should be a sprint. but am I even at the starting line? *smile dejectedly* im sure im somewhere still tying my shoe lace........ 

ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ

One thing I know for sure is my housemates, Kak Amy, Kak Syaza, and everyone else around me has been making me happy... Alhamdulillah. walaupun I don't deserve their hospitality ...... ....... .. u___u ok bai tak reti nak sendu in public lol

p/s: I am writing this en route to sekgoq via ETS heeee #futuremeshouldremember

holidaaaaays (update!!)

idc what anyone says but I live everyday counting months, weeks and days to school holidaaays. any holiday really. it's the BIG (definitely not little) thing that gets me going in this life. uwu.

this long holiday, there was no big plan. the only plan I had that I knew I wanted to do was going to ESCAPE. and so I did. thankfully hanis sofia was as eager to gooo because I don't see myself going there alone, no matter how much I told myself that I actually could. most importantly, hanis enjoyed it so much! all the adventure and sky plays were so funnnnn, i might actually turn it into a yearly visit. haha ...ha ha.

and ofc shoutout to my high school friendsssss that definitely made my holidays much moreeee enjoyable. They cured sth in me I didn't think needed a cure. badminton, hiking, just chatting away, shopping, kenduri. tbh I have never had that many friends to go out with at once here in Penang. I probably prayed for it, back when my family teased me. now I can bark "look, these are real people going out with me every day, and they are none other but my friends!" shkdshhdjd JK but that would probably stop them from teasing me that i have no friends... kan kan. haha

and then with Mak. not so much with Abah because he's toooo preoccupied this time around.............. i might sign him up for next PM.....

anyway with Mak, I got her featured in my diary and I will treasure it forever. for.e.ver. we also went out for a lot of datesssss, coffee dates. the barista at this one cafe must have recognized our faces already, but... it's okay i dah nak balik dah :(

and every day without fail i akan walk alone to soak in the feeling of being grateful for the people and the things I do and encounter. this time around i balik i promised myself not to drop even a little tear. over kan. macam la I kerja London jahsjahjsjdhj one day maybe wahahaha tapi still, let's see how I fare :P

(Update!!) - it's been a weeeeek and i shed no tear at all. uwu. hahaha big part of it must have been sbb mak teman i balik duduk sebelah hihi btw tomorrow's first day of school, pray for my peace of mind sbb i taknak feel restless anymore. i wanna put more trust in my colleagues haha

2024 New Year Resolution

2023 was a blast and I will forever be grateful for that. I mature, I grow, I felt dependable, I have greater self-control, I read more than 10 books Alhamdulillah and I simply love all these little-by-little changes. insyaAllah I'll do better next year. (u think I should go for 20 books? naaaa lmao)

but there's one thing I haven't been able to do this year (yang I am aware of lol) that I will pass to 2024 me... it's...

detaching myself from social medias. or social medias without the S. because really, there's only Instagram left. I dah beheaded Twitter, which I thought was impossible so yeah I can do Instagram too. TikTok? never had it. 

It's not like I posted much, but... I would rather write long paragraph about what happened to my day in my diary or here. sometimes I do let myself get indulged in bad thoughts after posting stuff but most of the time I know deep down I dont care. Even if I cared it'd be just a few mins after posting and I would then totally forget about it. I know I could turn my ig captions into a blog post however I like, but the thing is, mcm, no thanks. hahahaha

so until then, I think I'd be good just writing on my diary or here. Plus Instagram features are great, haih, if not for the archive thingy I would even deactivate. but nope I takkan deactivate until ig mysteriously undo the archive feature haha. I would probably just post less.... especially on ig story. I also want to normalize posting stories later rather than immediately after. faham tak?

Besides, and this is the main point. THIS POINT SHOULD BE UP THERE WHAT WAS I THINKING WHEN I WAS WRITING THIS

*clears throat* ehem

there's so much work I could have done instead of scrolling past millions of reels. Isn't this us all? haha so yeah I think you get this. I also wanna stop justifying such irresponsible habit, saying it's my me-time that I thought I deserve. I want to be diligent and I think it'd be cool if I work harder on things that I like to do, especially things yang would help in my teaching like playing instruments! learning new language! equipping myself with lessons-based short stories for the kids. and more! eheh.

and for other resolutions, I will think as I go. I am not the type of person who would meticulously plan what my goals are for the year, I'd be better writing them by months (kononnnn ahahaha, done nipu) so yoooo that's all. Adios 2023! 

Day 1: Universal Studios Japan!

waking up at 4.30 in the morning had never been as easy and exciting as this day (well, subuh was around 5.30am?) and Alyn and I (mostly me lol) wanted to turn up early at USJ! hence the early alarm. there were so many things I imagined seeing before I went there and to be able to actually turn those imaginations into reality? a total blessing! 

I think we waited for around an hour before the opening and the opening was so cuteeeeee, like the staff's synchronized greeting was so adorable.

and omg we waited out there in COLD. like it was so cold, super breezy and windy I would have been a frozen pole at the end of the wait if it ain't for my body heat!

by the time we passed through the gate, everyone was apparently running? so I thought— we should too right? LOL and we immediately ran to.......

HOGWARTS!

please you all need to know how excited I was for thisssss. even this blog name came from a spell from Harry Potter so bet!

and see how there weren't many people there? we were That early and by the time we came out, there were already so many people lining up for it. The 4D ride? was probably the best ride here, for real. We flew *dangerously* around the castle, with all real effects- heat, water, and even when the dementors came to suck(?) our soul. idk how they did it but I felt it through my bones. the spiders and the dementors were real by the way! never had I imagined that I would fly around the quidditch turf but we did that day and phewww, dreams do come real after all haha Alhamdulillah.

and then there was one more ride in Hogsmeade that we lined up for. that, too was fun hihi after we toured around, I felt really reluctant to walk out of Hogsmeade for other rides in USJ but there was no other choice anyway. I didn't pay for just Hogsmeade kan. lol

Jurassic City was next and I couldn't stop thinking of my nieces there. The dinosaurs ;A; we also hopped onto the sit of the roller coaster there and tbh it wasn't scary enough for me. bc o...kay...? 360 degree turn up above the sky? well. do better lol. I certainly wanted more when I was done. but strangely enough, the same night, I could feel the 360 degree turn in my sleep istg 

I want moreee!

and THEN, the turning-into-villain ride at the Minion Park. 

I. DID. NOT. EXPECT. THAT.

I screamed here louder than any ride there. on God, how could they let kids in for this? shjkdshdskd

after that, we strolled around the Hollywood City, the buildings were nicely built, it didn't have the Japan feel around it and I guess we could tick off LA out of our travel list now. while walking around we saw the Spiderman hall so we decided 'why not!' 

T'was fun too. Couldn't get enough of it all, never will. even until today, 3 weeks after huhu (tiber emo)

and and and nowwwwww, when I saw in the app that there was a Jujutsu Kaisen 4D show, I made a run for it. hehe. definitely worth it. why? 

because I. was. saved by THE Gojo sensei.

did I cry when he came out? Yeah.

Was being trapped in his ryoki tenkai THAT amusing? YEAH omg.

Was Alyn a victim of my multiple soft slaps as I sobbed? Yeah.

Was I offered a time to calm myself down as I walked out crying? Yeah.

never underestimate me when I get emotional :P

After the turmoil, we turned up at Hogsmeade one last time to try the butterbeeeerrrrr. Alyn said it was coke with butter in it. well. idk how to counter that so imma agree with her on that lol and whatever coke+butter it is, it was still so sedaaaaap T______T you think I'd get that taste if I put butter in my coke btw? Should I try? haha

Hogwarts at night was truly magnificent btw :") 

and then we rode kids' rides in the last minuteeeessss before the closing and we strolled around the whole USJ,  looking at the stuff they sell while soaking in the viewwww. who knows when is our next time kan? huhu

we went back feeeeeling soooo satisfied. Alhamdulillah.

The day was entertainingly tiring.

USJ entrance ticket: RM292 per person through KKDay. 

wanted to buy on Klook but it was sold out. and a few days after we bought the ticket, we decided we wanted the express pass but to no avail sbb sold out jugak :") that too would cost RM290+ kot. I highly suggest buying it! we didn't get the chance to, so if you wanna buy it, be early! 

Japan Trip: The Planning

this is way overdue as I am now safely back in Malaysia after my Japan trip but um, I would still love to write from the start, which was the planning of this all and how it came about. 

there was nothing special about how this was realised, really, but it was impromptu and I'd never even thought of going to Jap- heck, of ever going on a trip pun  ...until that one facetime where Alyn was at the end of the line, proposing, "Jom pergi Jepun?" 

and I laughed over it until I realised she was actually being serious. lmao. and I panicked bc woah, I really wanted to! because you see, at that point I'd never been oversea or rode any airplane, ever, so it was unimaginable for me that that plan was going to come through. so if it ever did happen, it'd be THE many firsts for me. besides, we'd only have two months to plan everything.

but even then, Alhamdulillah it did! happen! I went to Japan. with my best friend.

the hunt for the flight tickets was hell though, at least for me. bc I couldn't stop hoping that we'd get the best deal (=cheap tickets haha) The hunt was done over the course of several days, with the help of my sister who's an avid traveler and Alyn? welp. after dumping the proposal to me, she HAD to leave me on my own for her exam. I was pretty sure she worried more for me than her exam though, because I. was. just being frantic all over. until I finally sealed the deal— the dates and the flight tickets. (big special thanks to Kak Anih!)

Now onto our itinerary.

I had to wait until Alyn wrapped her exam, which by then, a month to go for our trip.

The plan was: Alyn finished exam ---> straight away come to sleepover at my house ---> do itinerary together ---> done!

but this girl ditched me over a date on the day we were supposed to start our itinerary. 

and I rolled my eyes, real hard. I believe I cried and did the dramatic "WHYYYYY?? HOW COULD CHU DO THIS TO MEEEE??? *sobs uncontrollably*" too? :P

bc pls, at one month to go, we hadn't done anything. hotels, what day at which region, necessary advanced tickets— none shshjhd so when Alyn came, we worked our fingers to the bones for our itinerary. pls, even deciding which days at which region pun pening haha and we Had to write the details down for fear of getting the dates wrong. 

 looking at it now pun tak faham. hshshhs

getting through our day-by-day itinerary was such a hassle. nevertheless it was such a fun experience for me,  even with all the little fights and laughs over our stupidity (most of it was Alyn's :P) haha

and after the sleepover, Alhamdulillah everything was set! All we had to do was wait. and for me it felt like someone had removed a huge stone from my back as I got to go to school ...happier than ever.

 

I'll continue in my next post for my Day 1 - USJ if I rajin wkwkwkwk and 

and I will. be. rajin 😤 sbb I am still excited to write about it! (for now) lol

On this, the budgets were:

Accommodations: RM910 (for both of us, at three different stays)

Flight tickets: Scoot Airlines - transit @ SG. RM1.2k + RM400++ (luggage) each

2022 in a glance

too many things had happened this year that when I look back now, I can't believe it's all now in the past. except for me working because lol that's no past. that'd be my yesterday, tomorrow, in the future, forever sampai pencen. haha but truly, everything that happened this year felt like a flashing camera you know? one click with a flash and it's done. okay lol. I might be exaggerating but you get what I mean.

this year I moved into a new phase of my life— working life. bla bla bla same ol' thing I told everyone, I cried, sobbed, bawled, wept trying to adjust myself. so phew I am pleased that it's all done and dusted now. aaand I made friends with few of my colleagues, I was assigned tasks that I wished I didn't get, I attended my grad ceremony, I bought a car, I became spr staff, voted, decorated my single room, had a joyous family day, experienced raya kalut kalut haha (weh legit had to look up the year in case I was mistaken), went to Genting with Alyn, attended Kakti's kenduri in Kelantan with my gals and vibing with kelantenese, gosh it was the best— Kelantan is. I also completely lost my voice for a week aaaand in all those things that had happened, Alhamdulillah I learned so much in everything, albeit sometimes only after my self-reflection. (yes sis memang take time to accept things as it is :P)

Oh, and I lost 15kg too! How could I forget that? perhaps because it's still counting. I plan to do a separate entry for this once I have reached my target too (which is only 4-5 kg away now, yay) so wait and see? haha

and my birthday! my birthday this year was a little sad to write about tbh. ye la, compared to previous years when I was studying which is = when college housemates were around. the bar was already set too high. but no worries, I was cool though and bc if I told you guys, I think most of you would symphatise with me instead haha even I do at times when I brood about it. Let's just say I was alright and that the chances the same thing would happen again next year is high. haha

hmmmm so now, we are down to the final week of this year, a significant year I'd say. with all the new things I have to adapt to especially. and even in this final few weeks I had squeezed an opportunity to challenge myself to go out of my comfort zone and just DO IT! Alhamdulillah and InsyaAllah I pray that everything from now on to that day is eased. Aamiin.

alas here I am, not ready to bid farewell to this year yet but hey, it's still 4 days away so I think I will have an ample time to finally bid adieu to this eventful year. nevertheless, I hope next year would lay more chances for me to become happier and joyful-lier ahahah. Aamiin.

Adjusting

Right. stepping into a new phase of life will always be about adjusting. adjusting yourself to a new place, friends, environment, state.... school... which is what I am weak at. If accepting reality is a subject in school, I would a get an F. 

I don't think I am a pampered child but I am close with my family + I enjoy little to big things I do at home like annoying my parents and siblings. eg: shuffling into their bedroom to perform an octopus dance then walk out right away kind of daughter/sister? That's the type of person I am at home lol

and there is no one else I could annoy like that here. that's one of the reasons why lah. there are many more reasons and I don't have the energy to type them out— of why I felt sad about this whole thing.

Don't get me wrong, I am grateful. Grateful for the job given, grateful to have a good start in my life. there's NO but. The sadness I am writing here stems from something entirely different. It's my own self-conflict and issue.

Perhaps it's about stepping into something much bigger than I was used to.

I thought I was okay, or at least I was gonna be okay. I am 14 now kot? dah besar come on! but after I sent my family away and stepped into my "new" home, alone, I burst out crying instantly! what had made it worse was there was no one else around. the deafening silence I felt was so depressing and that's when I knew that wow, the reality had sunk in badly man. at least in Ipb* I had friends I could instantly hug to make me feel better.. 

then I went into my room, continued crying as I tidied up my stuff, and laid down to sleep. Oh my, I told you I am so weak at this!!! I was thissss close to call my parents to come back and take me home but I held on.

by the fourth day I got so tired of this sorrow and desolation that I formed a new resolve to at least not cry about it. oh, I didn't only cry, I wailed. and red sleeve finale eps had made it even worse (tiber)

It's to the point I didn't know dah what I could do to make me feel better ....until I finally turned to Him. There's like a whisper that reminded me, "Hey, The Almighty is in control of your heart! Remember Him!"

so I started praying a lot. I got deep with Him. I let myself be more specific. I told Him everything. from acknowledging that I was in sorrow and that I was afraid of what this could lead to, to asking for His guidance, to praying to Him to alleviate my sadness. everything. 

and I have no one else but Him to be grateful for, for the people He sent to remind me of Him. Hasanah, put Him first in everything you encounter— struggles, happiness, sadness, grief and He would turn all those into so much more that at the end of the day, you'll find yourself be even more grateful to Him.

so remember Him!

Back to 2012

2012 is not a year that I am proud of. There were a lot of things I wished I could have done differently but in terms of friends I made and kept, they are undoubtedly the sweetest ones I will never forget.  

It takes a lot to still have the same people from your old young days around you as you grow up because it means that they have to accept "the you" then who might be immature, puerile, childish and silly compared to "the you" now. Therefore I am beyond joyful that my old friends could make it to today's hangout like we were back to our most raw and simple state, 2012 hahaha

This too we had dawdled a lot to finally agree on the same day. (adult-ing is sure a hassle huh) but inviting pikah along was handled like a pro– just a brief ask and... ting! she "SURE"-d me. We were close friends for 2 years until she transferred to another school, but ofc we kept in contact! I LOVE her, the same way I love Pokni (Idzni) and Alyn. Heck, we even had a name for our group back then.. called.. POPAPIYN. (can you tell how it was made? haha)

Today we talked and talked and talked some more, and ate and talked again.... and I am NOT complaining! I missed them so much, I mean they probably didn't think so though (because then it wouldn't have taken us few years long to properly meet again, especially with Pikah) but hello I am a busy person! To step out of the house willingly... it took a lot! haha.

We had breakfast-slash-lunch at BoatNoodle (satisfying Alyn's craving), sat at Baskin Robbins for dessert and had cups of Boost Juice as our sort of "energy drink" lmao (because lbr, to talk energetically throughout the day needs a boost, you get it?)

We made chaos, we laughed deliriously, we made fun of all our silly mistakes in the past, totally acted like we were 14.... haih love to spend time like this.... this friendship is wonderful. We might have lost a lot of years together, but I think we definitely had compensated everything today! (no, not enough.  we should get together like this again next time for that!!!) 

Lastly, I am grateful to see them grow the way they are now. we have come so far and I pray that goodness, health, wisdom, wealth, success, kindness and honor are wrapped around us all year long as we enter 2021! Here are some pictures of us then and now haha

                                        

Deeparayear.

Deepavali+Raya+Chinese New Year = Deeparayear! Cool tak? haha

I remember the same night I laid down on the floor staring at the ceiling waiting for Subuh and I told myself "I can't wait to blog about this party" while smiling like an idiot ..and now that I am actually here...... can the letters type themselves? v.v

preparing for a party is always lively. honestly, what's better than gathering around, roasting your friends, acting like savages WHILE doing your work? tell me. and the food department did a great job frankly! dumplings, vaddai, ladu, apam, our special teh tarik exclusively brewed by Linggesh (cewah) AND more. for me, a party with good food should be done everyday. *pans towards the camera* seriously. 

After embarrassing ourselves in the sudden ad-hoc meeting attended by all students wearing simple, cozy clothes instead of sarees, kebayas, punjabis and cheongsam.. the party began!

We took some pictures, went down to enjoy the live basking, ate, take pictures some more, ate again, aaaand to the grand finale - games! (Kama and I were in this department, we prepared them)

What are games without the loud screaming and yelling, right? We saw it coming honestly - getting shut by the warden I mean. yeah yeah. whatever. Imagine playing charades, stick and stand and musical chairs without screaming. luckily we were almost finishing when the warden warned us *shrugs*

Oh, did I say anything about a quiet game like Mafia game? We played this. I frankly thought it would be boring, but hell... we enjoyed it until 5 in the morning y'all. 

It got so intense I thought the friendship would be over by the time we wrap up the party haha every round you either get painted in a corner or you win. the analysis- I forgot my friends are actually geniuses. As a fully-certified ghost (or bystanders) for more than 3 times, I was impressed! I also wanted to curse so badly. I am sure the other ghosts would relate to that as well. To see my friends' happy faces when they were clearly high and sleepy was entertaining tbh haha and the Muslims just straight away slept after Subuh that night. phew. at least we got to sleep!

...only to wake up the next morning with an announcement that all students are compulsory to go home because of the pkpkpkp. perfect ending me think.

Girls-Only Party!

decided to have a party on a whim when we were having lunch on our first day of cmco. like one second we were eating and the next second we were already planning how to carry out a party without getting caught. and we are so lucky as out of the whole people in this block, we are the only ones left here ...that's why we thought- why not!

and then there goes our preparation! we divided our tasks- from food to decoration to technical support to video maker to creating our own invitation card and poster! we were so involved and indulged in doing the tasks, I forgot when was the last time we had this much fun. haha.

AND the night was epic and crazy! I LOVE how we dolled ourselves to the max to match the event. so so proud of my girls for making this party a success! Special thanks to Kakti for doing everyone's make-up! and Loshini... gosh, I think she mistook her choice to become a teacher instead of a make-up artist.

of how the warden warned us for being too loud, to stopping the music and ran in panic bc we thought there was someone knocking on the door, of the fun games we played together, of chicken popcorns, cokes, wedges, cute brownies, sandwiches, fried chickens, the fairy lights we hanged and the grand songs we picked. just 13 young people vibing with the music, feasting, dancing and laughing. How do I tell my friends that I want this event every weekend guys? 

we even had a montage video specially made by hajar. and gosh old videos and photos of us were in the montage, i felt overwhelmed- embarrassed, sad, touched and happy all at once. prop to hajar! *clink glasses* the karaoke session too, phew! talent!

definitely the one night that I won't forget.

yes.

Hiking in Teluk Bahang, Penang

This post is long overdue. I wanted to write the night we came back tbh but I was too occupied with the guests in my house (my IPBA bestest friends!) that I just pretended my blog doesn't exist until.. well.. today? Ugh I hate commitments (tiberr)

but trust me, I would loveee to write this post because guest why?

KAMA and HAJAR were in the house!!!

(Although I very much despised the time I had to wake up to fetch them. 5am.. -____- really gurl?) 

But I couldn't care less really! (special thanks to my lil sis and my father, I woke up in shock to see I had a few miscalls.. oooops, not sorry haha) so there I went to Penang Sentral looking miserable, with my worn-out tudung and ayaq lioq basi ...tsk. they had seen the worst of me anyway *whisper* BIG look... djsjjs

the morning i fetched them

thus, my pressure to appeal to my guests had officially started!! but joke on me they didn't really care. we went to vision park, we netflix and chill, went out eating, and bought nuggets for our hiking the next day!!!

Masjid Abdullah Fahim next to Vision Park!

and the next day came for our long-awaited hiking! we went out as early as 6.15am.. Alyn came too (I forced her to) and no regret! we had even more fun with her along, and the best part my lil sis tagged along so that means there's a photographer in the house! :P thanks isha.. (I haven't treated her Starbucks smh...)

my lil sis was also the driver, and we used *drum rolls* maps! it was my fifth time going there yet I had never driven there. and it gave me room to tease Kama who was sleepy on our way there, ugh I love her. and Hajar, my partner in crime. 

we were 5 minutes away from Teluk Bahang when the "maps" brought us somewhere I didn't recognize? well I had a big hunch that it was the wrong road bc I didn't remember having to go up the hills, and then we saw the sign:

"Tanah Perkuburan Cina" yep. a cemetery. you read that right. 

Alyn: weh weh kita kat kuboq, tunggu pa gi? tweet tweet! paan tweet!

-_______________- why are we even best friends Alyn istg. you know in horror movie there's a typical character who always celupar and die first? duh, I really almost said goodbye to her. but we made our way back to the main road straight away without any hassle and tada! 

we arrived! 

the mountains stood the same way the last time I saw them except there was only a few people around....and the SOP. glad they adhered to it! we chose to hike to Pantai Kerachut, the usual.

In front of the entrance!

and then we began hiking! the first 10-15 minutes was so hard, my sister lost her breath, we had to take a few rest. I'd been there five times and I still haven't adjusted to the route. It took us 1 hour 30 minutes to finally arrive at pantai kerachut! phewwww. it was almost deserted, we could have pretended it was our private island and everyone in Penang would not doubt it. haha sooo soo worth it!

In the forest..

the weather was fairly warm and windy with the endless view of the sea, and puffy clouds hanging on the sky. and the green of the mountains, the forest- the fresh air.... it's fair to say we enjoyed our private little time there. I'll leave our pictures to do the justice?

Picture on the left, we were all trying to hold our laugh (bc of my spontaneous joke)

and lastly, our signature pose!

we then safely went back to the entrance via boat! surprisingly it was not that tiring? but refreshing instead. at least compared to before. it was so worth it, ugh I love this short trip so much and I am so glad that I brought them here. we drove back and rest a bit... because this is yet to finish! another IPBA guests coming! oh my oh my.... teka siapa? 

till my next post! (if I rajin! muahahaha)

Road-trip to Perlis

Road. Trip. yea, I guess. I mean yeah? We did ride a car going there, but honestly other than going to Isma's uni, we really didn't think of going anywhere else, except maybe planning on taking our lunch at a famous stall, and yea, we did that. it was popular among jeti-goers, according to Mak Isma. and the best part was Mak cik yang belanja hihihihi

oh btw unimap is huge. like the whole area is enormous. I think the whole Perlis is unimap, or maybe 80% of it, but God, I would boast about my uni if I had what they have. the panoramic view of the mountains, green and fog-enshrouded.. imagine waking up to such picturesque view, it would be so motivating for me ewah. konon. but oh, I envy that a lot. other than that, thanks. (KL lrt, you still win don't worry haha)

and after eating lunch, Isma was like, "Takkan kita nak balik dah kot?"

well, thanks Isma for asking the obvious.

and so we continued the road-trip.

wait, have I told you guys how annoying and irritating Alyn was the whole journey? God, I wish I had brought a tape to shut her mouth from pestering us with vexing questions about random plants or things she saw on the road, claiming them as general knowledge. Actually yes, they are general knowledge. BUT you have to hear and see for yourself how she behaved and you would think I was being too nice for not throwing her out– yep. she was That exasperating.

ok done ranting about her.

where were we again?

oh, yes, we were arguing about going to Bukit Ayer OR Gua Kelam after lunch, and we ended up going to both lol now That's a road-trip. I really couldn't get enough of the beautiful sturdy mountains and the fresh paddy field along the road. It took us 30 minutes to Bukit Ayer and another 25 minutes to Gua Kelam, so the whole minutes I was enjoying the sight.. aaah.

and Oh god, both places were so deserted, if somebody had told us we came to a wrong place despite actually standing in front of the signboard, I would definitely believe it. 

Bukit Ayer was a lil bit creepy because we only saw like 5-6 people.... along the road.. so we quickly turned back. and the resorts and houses looked so creepy, like they haven't been occupied for YEARS. but I was glad we at least made it to Taman Herba nearby.

aaaaaand I felt like I won for some reason because I had always wanted to visit Gua Kelam. The last time I went there was when I was six. and I remember this one particular spot vividly and part of me wanted to confirm whether it was real or was it a dream (sometimes I can't differentiate them) and yooooo, it was real!!! it took me 16 years huh...

Gua Kelam, and the spot I remember is real! I think the best thing was the sound of the waterfall, and the cave itself! soooo calm and peaceful. I know and I get why some people find Gua Kelam boring, but hey don't try take it away from me, IT IS worth it.

now to the pictures!

the collage is back lol. goodnight.

First Post-MCO Hangout

This post is gonna be filled with so much satisfaction and joy because I finally met my bestfriends! despite practically meeting them everyday via whatsapp and social medias, the feeling is not the same man. incomparable. I thought I was gonna left rotting until I finally see them, bc you know, with all the orders and regulations. BUT oh well, Alhamdulillah! we are progressing Malaysian! just make sure to always practice new normal outside!

and of course our choice of place is always The steamboat and grill.

Steamboat and grill is like our thing since forever, istg.

Hungry? Steamboat and grill.

Want to catch up stories while munching on food? Steamboat and grill.

Too many options on where to dine? Steamboat and grill.

Steamboat and grill. Steamboat and grill. Steamboat and grill.

The one that had saved our friendship from endlessly arguing about where to eat. yep.

2015-present. Hahaha

Alyn is still a crack with so much toxicity but hey, she's my bestfriend, I'll take it. (jk I am actually plotting a plan) and Isma is still as mad as she is. phew I am glad they did not turn up into a mess I imagined them to be, I was so worried. Worried that Alyn would drive to my house in jamban slippers (wait, Lol it happened) or Isma with tudung terbalik (Gosh she came wearing Duck scarf y'all.. and she slayed) Indeed, I worried for nothing. 

and to the eating event. Nothing to tell here really, we just ate, gossiped a bit, mengata me a lot, just the usual normal stuff.. and then to Vision Park. it's been so long... *teary eyes* In fact the last time I saw Isma, we went to Vision Park too. The place is as tranquil as it was, beautiful, with less crowd, ofc. the lake still looks placid and glassy, and oh the view of the stunning elegant Masjid, still bewitching to the eyes. haih, so much to describe. and I am so gratified that we went there!

and then towards our total last minute plan to Pantai Bersih. Ok this is going to be embarrassing to admit: I'd never been there.... or maybe I had but was too young to remember (honestly pls I can't accept the fact that I had never stepped my foot there) Therefore, thanks Isma! the breeze of a pantai always never fails to calm me and so this one!

we took lots of pictures and selfies as we watched the sunset by the beach! this is why I always say YES to last minute plan! See for yourself (cuz maybe it's just me, really haha) but but! however the pictures are, we still made good memories there, hihi.

tbh, thanks Snapchat filter lol.
and can't wait until the other three can finally join us♡

Hilarious Video-Call

wouldn't be here if it ain't for the video call with syaza. 

we. were. hilarious. 

this is just one of those moments we would probably enjoy doing in IPBA now if we weren't stuck at home. but hey, doing it virtually is fun too. I'll take it. I can't remember the last time both of us sat together to unleash all the inappropriate jokes we have in our minds.

oh come on, we all have that one friend, or MORE THAN ONE FRIEND that choke up bantering just about anything meanwhile you just sit there staring while holding your laugh, waiting for your friend to ACTUALLY start telling her jokes, snorting in between. no?

like this?

We were on a good track and I thought the discussion was going to end smoothly with no damage to our lungs for laughing too much. but nope *cross the list with a big X mark* not today. honestly, poor the screen. it had to witness us losing our minds over small things we joked about, that I am sure we could have been slapped if it was actually a living thing. 

The thing with syaza is that, we can literally stare at each other and burst into laugh. so you can imagine how it was like video-calling with her and even so, we tried so hard to suppress our laugh (because we are at home and it was late at night too. we don't wanna make pontianak jobless) Syaza and I shared so much common ideas, even when they are sometimes stupid and nonsense hahaks and I guess that is why we can comfortably speak to each other. 

and I am so grateful for her, for each of my friend. It's a blessing to be surrounded by friends that wouldn't expose me for the things I do (for obvious reason haha) actually, more like they couldn't because I have the exact same thing against them too. This is how the friendship is withheld tbh, in case you are curious.

Ok but my friends are honestly a bunch of fun people. I don't have many, I really only have a few to express my honest feelings to, so they mean a lot to me. Hope it's the same case for them too (who knows if one of them is actually waiting to kill me, you can't be too complacent with people hhh)

Anyway, I miss my friends so much. really can't wait until the day when the only thing that keeps us apart is the distance less than 1m. aw. haha night!

Hari Raya 2020

this post is overdue, I know. there is nothing much going around and my life, I must say, is boring in the extreme. but I can't bring myself whining about it either. I realize there are people outside who are tested greater and beyond what I am experiencing now. aaaaahhhh chop-chop! enough of the pep-talk, what is this post about again? Oh Hari Raya.

  Selamat Hari Raya!

It's the same for some of us right, given that our movement was restricted? like performing Eid Salaah in the loving company of our family members, the humble preparation for the morning, a little visit to our neighbor's house next door– just enough to remember what this celebration is for and continue harvesting good deeds after.

The solo photo-shoot was rather early this year. I like doing it in the evening better when the sun isn't that blinding like it was that morning. (but come on, I couldn't wait until evening. Changing my attire into shirt and pants was the only thing on my mind the entire morning– which couldn't be accomplished before because of the Raya visits) 

However, I must say I wasn't in disadvantage at all because the pictures came out really good! (puji diri sendiri) Thanks to the flaming and shimmering sun. and oh! oh! I wore eyeliner the first time too, did it myself but ofc, the camera didn't do any justice for that smh *disappointed emoji*

Here to some of my Raya pictures 2020!

LOL to the cringy pink collage :p

We also celebrated my niece 1st birthday with balloons and a cake on that day. It was a rewarding, happy day after all (especially after I changed into a comfortable outfit to relax and chill for the rest of the day. haha :p)

And then to the number of video calls from families and friends! Ugh, I can't express it in words how lucky we are to be in this virtual era of advanced technology- having 6 persons per video call? Impressive and so so much needed, especially in this critical time. After so much fuss and chaos (rolls eyes), I finally got a hold of my friends. We were so uncoordinated for a reason I couldn't figure! haha but it was gratifying to finally see them fit and fiddle, on screen! I caught up on a lot of things with my Irshad and IPBA bestfriends. (except Kakti, Alyn and Isma who legit were there for the ig-worthy screenshot hhh jk) 

My classmates and I also made a spin-off version of the tiktok rush challenge? (please, we are just novices) cuz everyone just did their own version, you can tell we are all amateurs. Below is my part,

(Yes, I only gave them the "after" vid LOL I tried)
special thank to Syida for the amazing edit and compilation hihi

Malam raya was also lively because of my nieces and nephew (oh, aunty miss you hadif and hafiy D:) Alang wasn't on the picture because it's his wife's turn this year, but he brought his family the night before. Bunga api is a tradition at this point haha I was so delighted to be a part of my nieces' early memories about how it is like celebrating Raya. The joy was, of course, unparalleled to what we had back on those days. therefore I found my heart broke a little for them. I know it wasn't as perfect but the night was definitely a merry night. After all, Raya isn't only about that either hihi and once again

Selamat Hari Raya semua! :D

Ramadhan Feast

Alhamdulillah, by the grace of Allah, my family and I successfully cooked for the whole kampung today! never felt as satisfying and rewarding especially when we know people love the delectable and delicious food– Nasi Arab, one of my Mom's signature dishes!

NGL, it was extremely tiring. this whole cooking process for such a big group of people is really not my thing but what choice do you think I have? *wipe tears* however, the thoughts of having people savor the dish over-passed my huge tendency of turning lethargic and by the time I realized, we had already finished everything! yep, 6 hours striving in the kitchen felt like one hour! so so grateful for the strength given!

btw, it is a norm in this kampung that every family, or club can book any date in this holy month if they wish to do a feast. in the past, of course the people would swamp the surau for iftar, but given that we can't do that anymore, the people opt to packing and distributing the food instead♡ only one day isn't booked throughout the month. it's wild honestly haha!

Oh, aside from Nasi Arab, our neighbor made some dadih and chocolate cakes for everyone too and may Allah reward her abundantly!! p/s: eating the two together made them so much more luscious and mellow! istg, you gotta try the next time you see them!

The exciting part for me was to distribute the food to my brothers (they live relatively near to our house) therefore, today marked the first time I went out after almost two months!!! such a history!!! and my bff Alyn is so lucky that I didn't miss her out! thank God, I finally remember how she looks like now lol T___T (she lives few houses away from my brother's)

May Allah give us more will and strength to continue doing this every year!

Here are some pictures I took randomly of SOME of the process :D

   

        

the picture on the left was the first batch of roasted chicken using oven and air-fryer!

 there were like 80 ketol ayam... back-to-back kerjanya haha!

but we thrived fortunately! alhamdulillah.

thank you for the review alyn ahaks!

That's all I guess. hope everyone is doing good♡♡♡♡