or maybe I am bragging

 There should be a whole another post of me talking about my new school... 

coughs

is it new though? It's been 6 months but whatever, I'll save that for later. 

Today I was just wondering, looking at my students who are currently taking their exams and at the same time having to practice for our tournament next week..........

like, yeah, sure, I pity them but?

I wonder, *get ready for THE question of someone who probably has a main character syndrome*

how did I do it back then?

Not one, not two, heck yeah not even three, I threw myself onto A LOT of things that I had to practice for like sports especially which took my entire day before I got home, and I... still passed my exam with flying colors. masyaAllah but bro? I am amazed? I can see how tired they are now, welps, even I get tired having to train them.

and upon wondering, I couldn't help but mentally wrote a list of people that I should thank for. Yeah, right, there's no way I could have done them all alone. Therefore, biggest thanks to my parents, my teachers, my friends and definitely my strong personality and mental which I also got from my parents yes yes, haha 

aaanddd aaaaaa it makes me want to go back so badly, just to hug my younger self then pat her on the head with a smile saying you've done very well! and that I am proud of her, and I am sorry it took me this long to actually realize this haha, 

but chances are, I'd also whisper to her, "you should have pushed yourself harder" sbdjshkdshdjs 

truly, bc that's what I felt like telling my students. like uh, please, you guys are playing one sport, but I did THREE of them when I was your ag- 

wait, why am I sounding so much like a typical asian mum. naurrrrr 

and yep, I am definitely not bragging.

Back in Penang

Dear non-existent reader of this blog,

I hereby announce that after just a few posts which was written 4 years ago about my mental breakdown of having been posted to Selangor,

I am finally back in Penang!!!

I don't know if going forward from here is going to be better because as much as I wanted to transfer, I thought I'd created a strong foothold in my previous workplace, surrounded by great colleagues who doted on me so hard they had never forgotten to feed me (yes I happily gained 7kg haha) but alas, I believe just being grateful and happy for this chance is a good start, no matter where I am. (jk, it did matter bc this is me living in my answered prayer, Alhamdulillah)

I hope the excitement I feel will stay in me for a long time because I am about to challenge myself to a greater height! well, I hope so. I hope ...so. (there goes my confidence, blown away by a mere thought that maybe I am all talk, no action) 

please do pray for me!

Austria: The Planning

I remember writing "menziarahi kakak" on the borang cuti before handing it to my Boss and felt a tiny bit guilty, even though it's not far from the actual reason ...which is to stroll and travel around While my sister is still there. because at least for me, she wasn't the priority sdjhskdhkjd I mean, thanks for concurrently being there? :P jk

until my boss read it and the guilt ...doubled. 

after asking a few basic questions, he really went "ini bukan menziarahi kakak, yinniii melancongg" and then laughed to himself. oh my God no, it's not funny? not when I was breaking a sweat standing there like a weary poll sjbhdsmhd PLS I can't believe I got busted after a FEW BASIC questions. no more concealing my actual intention on that borang after this. period. 

and pls don't ask me why I didn't just write 'melancong' on the form. I wasn't gonna try and risk it from getting rejected T________T sesungguhnya saya hanyalah insan yang lemah. haha

walking out from the office, gurl really thought she had passed through the biggest hurdle of this plan.

until kak anih came into the picture like:

uhhhh, she and her lassst minuteee waaaaayyyyssss.

now it's exactly two weeks before our travel date and ...we still haven't booked our accommodation. hdjkksadj this is worrying. but has also tremendously improved my Tawakkal. if I had written this two weeks ago when I first dealt with Kak Anih, I would have smashed the keyboard to spit a lot of bad words, heck, it'd just be me ranting for three long paragraphs but now im just... whatever~

dia macam ye lah lantak ko lah. hahaha *laughs nervously*

but for the most parts, I really enjoyed planning the itinerary. It was a lot to take in tbh, especially when I knew nothing abt the country, not even from a single media before this. the transportations, the culture, the places, none.

I discovered Hallstatt myself through this, before kak anih even mentioned it to me to add it into the list. that's how clueless (also how disinterested) I was about the country. it wasn't in my wildest dream to have visited a country that has so many hidden gems that only now I knew (hidden from me at least LOL)

and todaaaay, after letting this entry rot in the draft for weeks..... it's D-Day!

(legit posting this in the airport)

Faith Events: Dr Omar Suleiman

 a quick update!

i opened my instagram that day, after going back and forth installing and uninstalling it (that's how determined i was to get rid of social media, although now the determination is gone GONE lol) and there it was!! the announcement. or the poster, whatever, which i never even knew, trust me, it's the first time i learned about faith events, or that Omar Suleiman was here before.

took no time to ask around but since none of my friend was able to go, i went alone. well, not so alone with my Kindle! brought so many book characters with meeee. tbh that was the only chance i got to spare for reading pun, because gosh, if not for this chance, that Kindle was better... off without me. finished a book and a half though, and that's what i would call a weekend well-spent!

Dr Omar Suleiman? ah don't get me started! i stumbled upon his podcast when i was bored, idk, and i instantly got hooked on The Firsts Series by him on Spotify. go check them out! if you love Sirah as much as I do (i figured i love Sirah because i just love listening to stories, never fail to intrigue me!) you better check them out!

I could never really focus in such setting. until the day I attended this event. wrote a whole 20+ pages listening to him actively. and this came from someone who always fell asleep during agama class, dari sekolah rendah way to college, im not even kidding (well, not surprised because look at me *stares in the mirror up and down and shakes head in disappointment*) 

i went back that weekend with so many resolves but if they were a list, none of them is checked, yet lol btw he's such an excellent speaker i think it'd do good if everyone could listen to him. there are probably parts of what he said that i didn't instantly agree with, but that's for me to ponder upon because if there's one fact i know, it's him being way more knowledgeable than me, i don't even dare but im proud that im at least... thinking. the more i think, the more i trace how our faith should work and i pray nothing but the best for me in this regard. well, aren't we all?

i'll add the picturessss later when im free lol