New School

It's finally time for THE post and I am done with starting it with a humble "I know no one cares but" ...

because.... I am gonna pretend that I have 10 000 readers EAGERLY wanting to know how I feel about my new school. haha

IDK if I'd ever told people how badly I wanted to transfer back to my hometown but I swear I'd cried about this to a few of my close friends. 

Was Selangor that bad?

Honestly not. It'd be a huge discredit to my good colleagues I had accumulated fun memories with.

but I prayed hard. In one way or another I know deeeeeep down in my heart I wasn't ready to settle down in Selangor. Yes, even after four years.

It took me that exact time and a trip to Mekah to finally submit to Him that if I didn't get the transfer that I wanted by that year, then I'd accept it as it is.

I was letdown twice, on March and June. The March result really broke me, I was even called dramatic. I remember just crying a river in my car. Then, on June, only told Mak cuz I didn't think I could take it if I was ever called out for being dramatic again...

Naturally, I didn't expect to even get a transfer at all after that. Come what may. I became a changed person. I was even ready to take on the year after at the same school. I even told Mak that I wasn't gonna apply for egtukar for at least another 3-5 years. I wanted to start anew with stronger, bolder resolve.

and then BAM!

October came.

there was a chaos in the group chat asking everyone to check egtukar (Oct result was unusual btw) and ofc, being the new me with a new resolve who's finally ready to settle down in Selangor, I checked it without putting any mind to it. I even had the audacity to check it when I was in the classroom with my kids. I figured that if I were to be disappointed, I'd rather be disappointed surrounded by them.

but how wrong I was.... 

I gasped so loud in the middle of the class, my students thought I 'd seen a ghost.

Ran outside (which my students followed along like the ducklings they are haha), shooed them away and called Mak right there and then.

the rest is then a history ... of me not crying at all (until Kak Nad la naik pentas) haha but the whole weeks and months I was really happy :P

Now onto the main part of this post...

My new school?

It's cool. 

Haha

and hearing kids speaking in Utagha dialect felt so peculiar and quirky I had to hold my laugh a few times. Well, it's probably just an internal happiness.

and I felt very grateful for every moment.

still am.

Alhamdulillah

:)

or maybe I am bragging

 There should be a whole another post of me talking about my new school... 

coughs

is it new though? It's been 6 months but whatever, I'll save that for later. 

Today I was just wondering, looking at my students who are currently taking their exams and at the same time having to practice for our tournament next week..........

like, yeah, sure, I pity them but?

I wonder, *get ready for THE question of someone who probably has a main character syndrome*

how did I do it back then?

Not one, not two, heck yeah not even three, I threw myself onto A LOT of things that I had to practice for like sports especially which took my entire day before I got home, and I... still passed my exam with flying colors. masyaAllah but bro? I am amazed? I can see how tired they are now, welps, even I get tired having to train them.

and upon wondering, I couldn't help but mentally wrote a list of people that I should thank for. Yeah, right, there's no way I could have done them all alone. Therefore, biggest thanks to my parents, my teachers, my friends and definitely my strong personality and mental which I also got from my parents yes yes, haha 

aaanddd aaaaaa it makes me want to go back so badly, just to hug my younger self then pat her on the head with a smile saying you've done very well! and that I am proud of her, and I am sorry it took me this long to actually realize this haha, 

but chances are, I'd also whisper to her, "you should have pushed yourself harder" sbdjshkdshdjs 

truly, bc that's what I felt like telling my students. like uh, please, you guys are playing one sport, but I did THREE of them when I was your ag- 

wait, why am I sounding so much like a typical asian mum. naurrrrr 

and yep, I am definitely not bragging.

Back in Penang

Dear non-existent reader of this blog,

I hereby announce that after just a few posts which was written 4 years ago about my mental breakdown of having been posted to Selangor,

I am finally back in Penang!!!

I don't know if going forward from here is going to be better because as much as I wanted to transfer, I thought I'd created a strong foothold in my previous workplace, surrounded by great colleagues who doted on me so hard they had never forgotten to feed me (yes I happily gained 7kg haha) but alas, I believe just being grateful and happy for this chance is a good start, no matter where I am. (jk, it did matter bc this is me living in my answered prayer, Alhamdulillah)

I hope the excitement I feel will stay in me for a long time because I am about to challenge myself to a greater height! well, I hope so. I hope ...so. (there goes my confidence, blown away by a mere thought that maybe I am all talk, no action) 

please do pray for me!

Austria: The Planning

I remember writing "menziarahi kakak" on the borang cuti before handing it to my Boss and felt a tiny bit guilty, even though it's not far from the actual reason ...which is to stroll and travel around While my sister is still there. because at least for me, she wasn't the priority sdjhskdhkjd I mean, thanks for concurrently being there? :P jk

until my boss read it and the guilt ...doubled. 

after asking a few basic questions, he really went "ini bukan menziarahi kakak, yinniii melancongg" and then laughed to himself. oh my God no, it's not funny? not when I was breaking a sweat standing there like a weary poll sjbhdsmhd PLS I can't believe I got busted after a FEW BASIC questions. no more concealing my actual intention on that borang after this. period. 

and pls don't ask me why I didn't just write 'melancong' on the form. I wasn't gonna try and risk it from getting rejected T________T sesungguhnya saya hanyalah insan yang lemah. haha

walking out from the office, gurl really thought she had passed through the biggest hurdle of this plan.

until kak anih came into the picture like:

uhhhh, she and her lassst minuteee waaaaayyyyssss.

now it's exactly two weeks before our travel date and ...we still haven't booked our accommodation. hdjkksadj this is worrying. but has also tremendously improved my Tawakkal. if I had written this two weeks ago when I first dealt with Kak Anih, I would have smashed the keyboard to spit a lot of bad words, heck, it'd just be me ranting for three long paragraphs but now im just... whatever~

dia macam ye lah lantak ko lah. hahaha *laughs nervously*

but for the most parts, I really enjoyed planning the itinerary. It was a lot to take in tbh, especially when I knew nothing abt the country, not even from a single media before this. the transportations, the culture, the places, none.

I discovered Hallstatt myself through this, before kak anih even mentioned it to me to add it into the list. that's how clueless (also how disinterested) I was about the country. it wasn't in my wildest dream to have visited a country that has so many hidden gems that only now I knew (hidden from me at least LOL)

and todaaaay, after letting this entry rot in the draft for weeks..... it's D-Day!

(legit posting this in the airport)