2022 at a glance

too many things had happened this year that when I look back now, I can't believe it's all now in the past. except for me working because lol that's no past. that'd be my yesterday, tomorrow, in the future, forever sampai pencen. haha but truly, everything that happened this year felt like a flashing camera you know? one click with a flash and it's done. okay lol. I might be exaggerating but you get what I mean.

this year I moved into a new phase of my life— working life. bla bla bla same ol' thing I told everyone, I cried, sobbed, bawled, wept trying to adjust myself. so phew I am pleased that it's all done and dusted now. aaand I made friends with few of my colleagues, I was assigned tasks that I wished I didn't get, I attended my grad ceremony, I bought a car, I became spr staff, voted, decorated my single room, had a joyous family day, experienced raya kalut kalut haha (weh legit had to look up the year in case I was mistaken), went to Genting with Alyn, attended Kakti's kenduri in Kelantan with my gals and vibing with kelantenese, gosh it was the best— Kelantan is. I also completely lost my voice for a week aaaand in all those things that had happened, Alhamdulillah I learned so much in everything, albeit sometimes only after my self-reflection. (yes sis memang take time to accept things as it is :P)

Oh, and I lost 15kg too! How could I forget that? perhaps because it's still counting. I plan to do a separate entry for this once I have reached my target too (which is only 4-5 kg away now, yay) so wait and see? haha

and my birthday! my birthday this year was a little sad to write about tbh. ye la, compared to previous years when I was studying which is = when college housemates were around. the bar was already set too high. but no worries, I was cool though and bc if I told you guys, I think most of you would symphatise with me instead haha even I do at times when I brood about it. Let's just say I was alright and that the chances the same thing would happen again next year is high. haha

hmmmm so now, we are down to the final week of this year, a significant year I'd say. with all the new things I have to adapt to especially. and even in this final few weeks I had squeezed an opportunity to challenge myself to go out of my comfort zone and just DO IT! Alhamdulillah and InsyaAllah I pray that everything from now on to that day is eased. Aamiin.

alas here I am, not ready to bid farewell to this year yet but hey, it's still 4 days away so I think I will have an ample time to finally bid adieu to this eventful year. nevertheless, I hope next year would lay more chances for me to become happier and joyful-lier ahahah. Aamiin.

Had to Give Up My Bed to a Witch

Wow, wow, wow.
Look at me now, typing on my laptop while lying down on this cold hard floor in my own room!!! (although I am actually on a carpet but let's not be nice)  

Why you ask me?
because I had to give up my bed to the witch!!! just because I lost at osom!!!
This witch is really... (her name's Alyn btw but don't be deceived by that normal name)

so now yeah, she's resting on my bed while I have to once in while check my waist/hip to make sure there's no crack. and if you ask me why didn't I prepare a toto... well. I didn't think it was necessary since I have a bed lol ....guest who?

jkjk I wanted to buy it ofc but I've been putting it on hold thinking 'ah later laaaah' so now who's losing? Yeah ME. 

padan muka.
one night. I am going to bear this cold hard floor (with carpet lol) to honour my lost to Alyn in osom. should have never agreed to this game :<

but hey, if I could survive sleeping in cold weather in an open hall on a cold hard floor (without carpet!) 4 years ago (kem unit uniform), this is nothing. haha 

my view while the witch's laughing at the background 
but ofc you can't hear her cuz this is a .jpg #tiberbitter

1, 2 Diary— A Confession

I have a confession to make... to you, yes You. the very website I am using now, this blog, colloportuspell or whatever names I had labelled you in the past– yep You.

I know I have been telling everybody how you are basically my diary but you don't know do you? that I.. I..

I have my own physical diary, and it's not only recently *blows nose*

It's been forever if I were to be honest (and if the diary I had thrown away 12 years ago was counted haha) for you, and my physical diary, it's always been a matter of choice for me... 

and listen,
I don't mean to betray you, or cheat on you, but you'd probably guessed it, no? Afterall I only write here once in a blue moon...... but still...

I am sorry.
and I am sorry to tell you that I am now enjoying writing on my physical diary a lot more than I think I would. and it takes lesser effort too, and I don't mean to tell that writing here is a hassle!!! but being conscious of what I write here, especially publicly is getting a bit draining. 

but worry not!!! I will never!! abandon you!!

I promise I'll come visit, like today when I feel like confessing to you, or days when I feel like sharing my joy, if not all maybe one or two because after all, you've always been there. with me. the white screen for me to write on and share bits of my happiness.

and it will stay that way. for 10, 20 or 50 years more. insyaAllah.
therefore if you ask me will I ever write to you again? Definitely yes.
It's just a confession to get this guilt of always leaving this website for months, off this shoulder. hihi. 

I rode and I rock.

Ok, the title sounds like I did a major thing like riding an ATV on the highway or sumn when really... I only rode a motorcycle! for the first time! in Selangor! (plus, it's a scooter y'all!) lol 

please give me a round of applause.
please.

It was not easy to muster up my courage to ride one, because first, I am a very-dramatic queen. I mean, look at me writing here like I didn't start riding a motorcycle at 11? *laughs nervously* but on a major road like a highway? yep, TODAY was indeed my first time.

It was so funny, I was really chill, and excited too, but I still couldn't shake off my anxiousness, the same anxiousness I feel when I try things for the first time so I checked my BPM right before I hop onto the seat and I saw it rose up to 114.. lol

one hundred and fourteeeen BPM oh my God LOL

I was That nervous huh? and ironically that calmed me down a little because I burst out laughing instantly...

because look. at. me.
I am INDEED a drama queen. hahaha

and the ride was smooth, I went to work and got home safely, Alhamdulillah. It's fun in its own way but I think if I were to ride it everyday, I would have to pray harder for my pinggang. Sakit nyiah.

In case you are wondering, Putih (the car I drive) is with my BIL right now cuz Putih is dramatic too apparently— sent her for a check-up that she desperately needed.