Little Post, a reminiscence

Tarantara tara taaaa!!!!
I have nothing to preach about except that I'm here to tell about my well-doing (no lol as if everyone is asking) but alas, I'm already here so let's reminisce my good ol' times while I am at it. You know..

I remember fighting with my siblings over small things when I was young which I hated so much,
I remember wanting to grow up faster so that I could challenge my sisters who were physically bigger than me,
and I remember the old days we stayed out of rules, worrying about basically nothing other than the food to eat after, and now

I've all grown up but this isn't it. I didn't end up growing to beat the shit out of my sisters. I really didn't. I wished time could go faster and it did. but I am not happy about it like I thought I would. Time... really did fly so fast... however, the memories are so vivid and clear like they happened just yesterday. Cuz I feel like;

I had just recorded my "make-up fight" vid with my lil sis yesterday when it was 7 years ago,
locked ourselves out of the house to play under the rain last month when it was 8 years ago,
sat in a circle to share some ghost stories last week when it was more than 5 years ago..

when in reality, I'm here, all the way in KL, hundred kilometres away from my family.

It's surreal. This isn't it.
As much as I acknowledge time couldn't be rewind back,
I still hold a little wish that it could.
because now, the commitment is different.
and I don't kinda fancy it.

This is so so accurate!!

I need HOME

Months passes.. (2 months je pun)

Last saturday was my first time getting sick without having my parents around. It doubles the pain :<  My ear swelled so badly and I had a fever. The next day, I straightly went to ppum and I waited for 4 damn hours to see the doctor just for her to say "I'll arrange an appointment for you"

Yes, even littlest thing like this made me cried. I cried. I was waiting like a corpse, freezing and she didn't even give me ubat demam!

I wasn't mad at the doctor but I was mad at myself. I made my friends wait for me when they could have done their assignments that day. I stole their precious time for me. I felt like a freaking selfish  lass! Sure I have assured them to go back

but they insisted to stay. For that I was thankful but.. only He knows how guilty I was the entire day.

It has been 6 days now and my ear hasn't gotten any better yet (a little bit better perhaps, Alhamdulillah but it's still swollen) However, I still need my magic pill,

my home.

so tomorrow, insyaAllah I'm coming home.

My Baby Steps

baby steps pebenda, giant steps kot lol

so uhm how do I start this...

there are so many things I would like to tell everybody but given the time and condition, I don't think I could. Life had been busy. I was working part-time (in case you'd be wondering where I was all this time which I believe no one cares other than Isma lmao) working taught me a lot of things. One of 'em that is still impacting my life is

I learned how HARD it is to gain money, myself.

(but still ridiculously spent half of my salary on food)

work, folks.

Now that I've quitted my part-time job, I am currently spending my time with brilliant activities, I tell ya. I don't know what 'brilliant activities' means to you but for me, they are as simple as watching movies, finishing books and also spazzing (but thank God my boys haven't had any comeback yet so I'm free p/s: for a while)

Harry Potter got me back on tracks.

I rewatched all of their movies and is currently reading its third book, Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban. I am proud to tell everyone that my aspect of seeing things is now different. I have a complex-identity, I always think I'm a wizard (wait, I am a wizard!) and can conduct magics. Not like there's anything wrong with that..... ah [point out my wand] "Obliviate!" so you shall not remember this paragraph aha ha ha

Counting days for enrolment.

Sad, excited and afraid.

Sad bec why not? I'm leaving my home, my bed, wifi (penting hokay?) my sisters.. prepare je lah nak. for someone who's always home, I would definitely need extra time to adjust.

anyway, Kun fayakun! it is imminent guys, I'm leaving. Time to get out of my comfort zone and learn things out of the box by d.i.y ahaks long live, dear self!

tajdid your niat and work hard! good luck!