this was my first concert. also the first event I went to without telling my m- wait. scratch that. this was, as far as I can remember, my first time not telling my mom any of my business, at all. well, whose mother would allow her daughter to go to a concert, a night before her exam? asian mothers could never, I thought.
therefore I just went through it without telling her, with a courtesy of slipping my exam notes in between my stuff in the bag hoping I would read them, lessening the guilt of not revising the subject the night I was supposed to.
god knows how much I contemplated to post this picture on instagram that day, a month after it had actually passed. being me, I HAD ALWAYS wanted to post something that makes me extra, extra happy. at that time, all I cared about was posting that picture. sure I was worried, bc my mom follows me on instagram!
but I did post it anyway.
and like a girl who just confessed, I threw away my phone right after I clicked 'post' and I found myself trembling, hard. chances were my mom was definitely going to scroll through her feed and saw that! I wished the words of "my heart is thumping loudly against my chest" could make a real sound so everyone could hear how loud it was. I waited for some moments after that and there was no call. no message. nothing. so maybe.. maybe I am okay.
and like any other day, I casually called her to talk about my days and I ended up tripping myself over the guilt I had.. lmao I really have to break it to her myself in the end, because it felt wrong to me T^T and it went like:
"Have you seen my latest post?"
"Hm"
"Do you.. know.. when was it?"
"No"
*nervous sweating* "Um it was right before my literature exam Ma"
"Okay"
"Mak tak marah?"
"Dah lepas kan. Sapa lagi yg pi?"
and I told her everything, the ticketing, my view that day, how I performed my Maghrib (important), who were the artists etc.
after some days it struck me, maybe, maybe my mom was waiting for me to tell her myself. maybe all I needed to do was just- tell her, myself. and I wonder what did she feel when she saw the post, was it anger because I went to a concert? or disappointment bc she knew that through my instagram instead of my own mouth? ....tbh high chances are maybe mak tak rasa apa-apa pun and I am just being dramatic right now. Hahaha
from that day onwards, I decided, it doesn't matter if I want to tell her earlier or later, I would never let her find out my days from instagram anymore... I hope so.
and I figured, my mom and dad are actually so cool about everything, probably because I am no longer below 18 now, and most importantly, it's because I know they have given me their trust so I don't think I want to break that. ever.
all I need to do is just, tell them.
and therefore that wraps up my first concert experience with Hajar and Kak Maine, seeing Red Velvet and NCT! FOR FREE. ihiks
4 comments:
Hahahahha , bila baca nie teringat pulak kenangan waktu sem 1 dulu . Esok Final exam subject acc , tapi malam nie saya boleh keluar pergi stadium tengok bola . End up , my result is so bad n for sure la failed kena repeat paper . Hahahahah , masuk sem 2 taubat terus .
@Suhana Abidin hahahaha benda ni la nak ingat sampai bila-bila nnti😆 Nasib baik pointer naik jugak kalau tak kena tibai dengan mak kitaðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Hahaha this is so cute.
My parent can't relate because they are always cool about everything, as long as that matter did not involve their money hahaha
But you are right, sometimes parents nampak apa yang kita buat, dorang cuma tunggu kita yang buka mulut dulu. It's not going to be that bad. Paling teruk pun bernanah telinga je.
@Tqa London Ya betul!! hahaha rindu ah jugak nak manja2 bgtau mak kita nak gi mana-mana, sekali dia cakap tak yah lah bgtau dia.. sbb dh besar.. omg does she not realise that im still a child?? idc!!! hahaha
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